The Relaxation Integration Project
December 2, 2008 by J.C. Hewitt
On November 11th, my mind and body relaxed for the first time in a long, long time. I had forgotten what it felt like to be relaxed. I had forgotten what it was like to have the tension leave my body, not just for a moment, but for long stretches, so that tension was the exception rather than the rule. It was almost like being a different person.
It is easy to mistake feeling relaxed for feeling sleepy. When the body is near the point of exhaustion, it must relax, so I associate that loose-limbed feeling with exhaustion rather than relaxation. I have been so used to feeling tense that feeling relaxed was unnatural. I yawned a lot. I slept and slept, thinking I needed more rest, but the feeling didn’t go away. I was relaxed, but I didn’t know how to be relaxed.
I’m happy to have left the tension behind me, and I want it to stay there. Relaxation is not without its own problems though. For one thing, my productivity has dropped. It turns out that stress is a motivator. It is not a healthy motivator, but it is a motivator. When you are relaxed, you let things go. I used to think fondly about the idea of relaxation, but I had too many things I wanted to accomplish. Now I am relaxed. The drive to accomplish is still there, but it has gone from a drum beat thundering in my ears to a piano melody playing softly in the background. It is more easily ignored, especially when the task is unpleasant or doesn’t have a clear benefit.
The problem is that there is a limit to the number of things you can let slide without there being some consequences. My boss, for example, still seems to think that I should show up every day and do my job. He’s funny that way, but he’s a nice guy so I don’t want to disappoint him. My wife has a few things she likes me to get done as well. She’s also nice, so I don’t want to disappoint her.
My wife and my boss are both adjusting to the new, relaxed me, but I also wanted to let you folks who read my blog know that things are a little different now. I like writing the blog, but there are parts of it I don’t enjoy as much anymore. I’m going to work on increasing the number of things I enjoy doing and decreasing the number of things I don’t enjoy doing. Thank you for bearing with me as I figure out what those things are.
Oh, and if you get the chance, relax.
Okay, so tell us . . . how did you finally achieve this lovely state? Aura tuning? Massage and medication? Let us in on it!
@ Stacey
Hmmmm, tell me more about this Aura tuning. That sounds interesting.
Wow, so this thing you call “relaxation.” Amazing! I wish I could rush out and buy it somewheres…
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I’d love to sell it to you too.
You are being coy, John.
“I’m going to work on increasing the number of things I enjoy doing and decreasing the number of things I don’t enjoy doing.”
This sounds like a great plan, John. It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing what we think we should do instead of what we want to do.
I just hope you keep wanting to write your great posts!
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Hey Humans;
Wow, I didn’t think your species COULD relax. Don’t you… uh… melt, or something? I relax as much as I can inbetween being scientist, mine owner, warrior, writer, etc, etc, etc, and when I do do it I find it very beneficial. John, I sincerely recommend sitting under a mushroom during a rainy day. The therapeutic benefits are unimmaginable.
@ JoniB
I’ve been called worse. I may discuss how it came about in a future post, but not yet. It took longer than you would think just to write this post about it.
@ Lillie
I will keep writing. I’m a writer.
@ DD
I’ve never seen a mushroom large enough for me to sit under. Remember, I’m human, but ogre-sized.
I have no idea how to relax. I know how to get things done as a keyed up ball of tension. I have that DOWN. As for knowing how to be relaxed, well, not so much. Feel free to share. I’m willing to learn.
Wow, relax. It’s amazing how hard it is for us to do something so apparently simple. Even on vacation, it can be hard to just slow down and enjoy life. Maybe on my next vacation, I’ll go looking for human-sized mushrooms. Any idea where I could find some, Daggerquill?
Hey Humans;
Apparently nobody else here has ever been to one of those new big box stores? Y’know, with the endless sea of parkinglots (in which a donkey can be very easily lost, beleive me), the complete variety of stores, and ugly movie theatres? No? Well, all I can say is, go to Home Hardware and ask for their week’s special. Specify the giant mushroom at 22% off. They’ll know exactly what you’re talking about and point you in the right direction.
@DD:
I should try that. I’ve always wondered what an insane asylum looked like from the inside.
@Key;
Well all you had to do was ask!… Very white. Green doors with little windows. Brownies. And a lack of swamps. That’s about it.
I hadn’t ever really thought about stress being a motivator, but it really does make sense. When I am relaxed, I really do get de-motivated sometimes. I think it is probably a healthy de-motivation, but a de-motivation none the less.
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Stress is definitely a motivator for me. When I am not stressed out all I do is lay down and I don’t get anything done. Stress, especially financial stress, motivates me to keep going and keep working and just keep moving otherwise I just feel like I’m not being productive. However, I also like those days where I can just relax.
I totally understand what you mean.
I’ve just been granted all the free time in the world to write AND feel totally relaxed now that the threat of redundancy has become a reality (honestly, I was so stressed out about it happening, it came as a relief just to find out).
Beforehand, I could write like crazy. Now, I know I have the next few months of being able to write and enjoy it. And it’s just not happening.
I experienced that lovely feeling of a weight being lifted off my shoulders the day I found out, but now the stress has gone, I’m not writing half as much as I used to.
Hopefully once you and I both get used to this new, relaxed state we’ll both get our motivation back. I’m totally with you on the doing stuff you enjoy, though.
Sorry, rambling!!
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