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PD30 Day 10: The Mighty Mighty Pantoum

September 10, 2008 by J.C. Hewitt 

30 Poems in 30 Days

Today post was written by guest blogger Jenn Mercer.

Are villanelles too rigid for you? Sestinas too long? How about trying a Pantoum? The Pantoum is a repeating form like the ones above, but it gives you a little bit more flexibility. Like the villanelle, Pantoums use lines which are repeated in their entirety, but they are not the same lines throughout the poem. The sestina only repeats words, but in a fixed six stanza form which can be quite intimidating.  In a Pantoum, the repeating lines are a gift rather than a constraint.

Pantoums are written in four line stanzas. Each stanza, except for the first and last, uses the second and fourth lines of the stanza before as the first and third lines of the new stanza. This sounds complicated, but it is easy enough once you get going. The last stanza is also an exception because it uses the first and third lines of the first stanza as its second and fourth lines.

The first step is to think of a general subject or theme. Try not to over think this because once you get past the first stanza, the lines are reacting to the lines that came before them.  Take particular care with the first and third lines of the poem as you will be using them as your conclusion.

Now on to the nitty gritty… how do we do this thing?

There are two methods which I have used to write Pantoums and they are on completely different sides of the technology scale. First the manual method:  take a ruled notebook and write the line numbers in the margin. Write the first line of the poem.  Proceed on to the second, third, etc. When you come to a lower line number, copy the appropriate line. You can do this as soon as you write each line or as you come to each repeating line. Use whatever method makes you happy and change it any time you feel like it. Oh, and you probably should be doing this in pencil. This is the most tedious part of the process and it is for this reason that I created the high tech method below.

Plan B is the semiautomatic method, using an Excel spreadsheet. Yes, I write poems using Excel. It makes me feel creative and geeky at the same time. Although the gridlines may make the field of play seem somewhat sterile, Excel (or whatever spreadsheet program you prefer) takes the manual labor of creating a Pantoum out of the equation. This is very simple, even if you have never used Excel before.  Begin, as before, with listing the line numbers in order in the far left column.  In the next column to the right, list the line numbers that should be copied onto each line. It should look something like this:

Ex A

1          1          THIS
2          2          IS
3          3          SO
4          4          EASY
5          2          IS [repeated line]
6          5          IT
7          4          EASY [repeated line]
8          6          FOR YOU TOO?

etc…

The next column to the right is where you will add the formulas and they could not be simpler. Click on the cell to the right of the first repeating line, type “=” and then click on the line to the right of the corresponding number. In other words, click on the blank cell in your spreadsheet where I have the word “IS (repeated),” type “=”, and then click on the blank cell in your spreadsheet where I have “IS” (without the word repeated). The result will look something like this: “=C3″. Do this for all of the repeating lines. In order to avoid errors, I typed NEW into all of the original lines (Please don’t type all over your nice new formulas). This, of course, caused the word “NEW” to populate all the way down my Pantoum. However, as I fill out the Pantoum, these lines are replaced by the repeating lines with the word new only appearing when I need to actually write a line of poetry.

Ex B

*          A         B          C
1
2          1          1          NEW
3          2          2          NEW
4          3          3          NEW
5          4          4          NEW
6
7          5          2          =C3
8          6          5          NEW
9          7          4          =C5
10         8          6          NEW

With this method, it is especially helpful to decide in advance how long you would like your Pantoum to be. You can change your mind later, but you will have to do some manual rearrangement of the lines later.

Regardless of which method I use to start a Pantoum, I return to Word (insert your favorite word processing program here) in order to edit. If I get lost, I will consult my original document to make sure the lines are repeating in the right order. Other than that, the form is really very free.

Strategies:

  • Try using subjects with a natural pattern of repetition such as the seasons, life cycles, generations, etc.
  • Avoid trying to tell a linear chronological story.
  • Avoid multiple subjects and ambiguous pronouns.
  • Feel free to make small changes such as tense, number, and punctuation in the repeating phrases.

I will have to admit that one of the things that I like about Pantoums is that half the poem writes itself. Finding a way to weave in the old lines with new ideas and yet maintain a cohesive whole becomes a game.

As a gesture of solidarity, I have written my own Pantoum (see below). This poem took several attempts to make sure that the poem made sense in the last few stanzas.  As you can see, I have taken statements and turned them into questions and changed the subject of the poem as it develops.  Finally, I changed the first stanza so that the lines which repeat in the last stanza would mesh with the lines repeated from the second to last stanza.

The Eyewall

I have been dreaming of the eyewall

opening into clear air

circling an inner core

where the hard winds begin.

Opening into clear air

like the eye of a god proclaiming

where the hard winds will begin

to breathe in the salt ocean.

Like the eye of a god proclaiming,

who orders the sea

to breathe in the salt ocean,

erasing the barrier between sea and air.

Who orders the sea

to rise to the unspeakable howl of the winds,

erasing the barrier between sea and air?

I open my eyes in the still of the storm

to rise to the unspeakable howl of the winds

circling an inner core.

I open my eyes in the still of the storm

dreaming of the eyewall.

Go ahead and write your own.  Feel free to experiment with the form until you write something to your own liking. If you enjoyed this, try a sestina or villanelle.

Jenn Mercer (http://www.jennmercer.com/) is a freelance Writer, Poet and Translator living in Raleigh, NC. She has been published in Astropoetica, Nth Degree, the Grapevine, and on The Fix (http://thefix-online.com/category/features/distillations/), where she has a monthly poetry column.

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Comments

11 Responses to “PD30 Day 10: The Mighty Mighty Pantoum”

  1. Rianon Burnet (97 comments) on September 10th, 2008 8:05 am

    Wow I have to say, with school scrambling my brain This assignment so to say is crazy so I think I will guess at this one if it is alright with you mr. hewitt. Also I cant seem to log in if you have any suggestions that would be great! thank you……

  2. Sheer (41 comments) on September 10th, 2008 9:06 am

    Oooo….this is fun…even though I suck at it. *grin*

    ****************************
    I truly believe

    When I was young
    I thought that all dreams would come true
    And the stars were there to guide our lives
    And everyone was all that was good, nice and kind
    I thought that all dreams would come true
    If I were willing to work hard
    And everyone was all that was good, nice and kind
    And only I could determine my life
    If I were willing to work hard
    The stars would guide my way
    And only I could determine my life
    The way I could so clearly see the stars in the sky
    The stars would guide my way
    If I were only willing to try
    The way I could so clearly see the stars in the sky
    And I truly believed
    If I were only willing to try
    Success will be mine
    And I truly believed
    What was but a myth for a dreamy youth
    Success will be mine
    And my dreams will come true
    What was but a myth for a dreamy youth
    But I truly believed, even till today.

  3. Zita (7 comments) on September 10th, 2008 10:03 am

    Here is my attempt:

    Dehydrated

    I long for you
    as the summer sun
    longs to break through
    winter’s sullen gray brew.

    The sweet summer sun
    is still warm on my skin
    while sullen gray winter clouds
    loom large and lowering ahead.

    I cherish the warmth on my skin
    that your touch left behind.
    Desolation looms large and lowering ahead
    and a chill makes its way up my spine.

    Your touch left me thirsting
    and yearning for more.
    Now a cruel chill clasps to my spine
    and drains the blood from my cheeks.

    I yearn for more -
    my craving a torrid river after the rains
    draining the blood from my veins
    leaving me emptier than ever before.

    My parched, lost soul
    longs to break through
    the suffocating net that I weave
    while I long for you.

  4. Sandra (28 comments) on September 10th, 2008 4:59 pm

    Thanks, I had fun:

    “The Fly”

    I am a fly
    right on your palm
    I’ve found my home
    with sewerage

    right on your palm -
    there’s civilization
    with sewerage
    but with no gods

    civilization
    is nothing to wonder
    but with no gods
    death is so hard

    is nothing to wonder
    that’s the reality
    death is so hard
    and your palm is clutching

    that’s the reality
    I am a fly
    and your palm is clutching
    when I’ve just found my home

    Sandras last blog post..Mano karsto medis

  5. Jenn Mercer (8 comments) on September 10th, 2008 7:12 pm

    Sheer, Zita, and Sandra:

    These are fantastic. I’m glad that you took up the challenge.

    Rianon,

    Yeah, I know it’s a crazy form. I think that’s why I like it.

  6. Sheer (41 comments) on September 11th, 2008 6:51 am

    Thanks Jenn. It’s such a fun form. =)

  7. John Hewitt (763 comments) on September 11th, 2008 7:36 am

    Thank you for writing this guest post for me Jenn. I am still fiddling with my poem but I’ll post it soon.

  8. Zita (7 comments) on September 11th, 2008 8:40 am

    :-) Yes – fiddly and challenging, but very rewarding.

  9. Jenn Mercer (8 comments) on September 11th, 2008 10:18 am

    John,

    I am glad to hear it. I can’t wait to see your poem.

    Zita,

    Exactly! I did not claim that pantoums were easy – just that they’re worth the work.

  10. Key (35 comments) on September 11th, 2008 3:16 pm

    I had never heard of pantoums before, but they are awesome and very expressive. The repetition gives them this ancient chanting feeling that is really cool. I had a lot of fun writing mine!

  11. Akhristin (34 comments) on October 31st, 2008 3:22 pm

    the thirteen stripes for valure
    the original colonies fought for
    red they died and white for peace
    the fifty one stars united we stand
    a trilogy to sustain one common beleif
    for freedom, world peace and honor
    my alegeance to the american flag

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