Right stepping occurs when you decide that your opinions and actions are the right ones and that you must continually prove this to others. You feel a constant pressure to be correct and will stand by your view at any cost. For writers, this often occurs when working on group projects. It can be an issue for people who feel that grammar and usage rules must be absolute. It can also creep into the writing of anyone who takes on issues, especially controversial ones. Right stepping is very prevalent in political blogging, as people feel that they need to not only prove that they are completely right but also prove that anyone who opposes them is either a crook or a fool.
Here is an example of right stepping:
Poor self talk: I can’t believe you are sucking on a lollipop! The lollipop must be outlawed. It’s a choking hazard. It’s fattening. It leads to oral fixations and pervasions. Sucking on a lollipop is a gateway to smoking and other social ills. The stick can be used as a weapon to poke other people’s eyes out. Those ecstasy addled kids at the raves are always sucking on lollipops. Clearly the lollipop is at the heart of our moral degeneration. It must be stopped. Anyone who disagrees with me is either a lollipop sucking degenerate or a shill for the candy industry.
Realistic self talk: I can’t believe you are sucking on a lollipop. Those things are bad for you. Oh well, I guess they are tasty. They aren’t right for me, but I can accept that other people like them. Live and let live. Just don’t poke yourself in the eye.
Some ways to avoid right stepping:
- Try to think of the reasons why someone might disagree with you
- Accept that many things are a matter of personal taste
- Understand that there can be more than one solution to a problem
- Ask yourself whether or not proving the other person wrong is worth the risks of hurt feelings and animosity, even if you are right
Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer
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