Comments on: Negative Self Talk for Writers: Negativising

By: max

max — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:18:46 +0000

Murphy Laws are great examples to negative thinking: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway; If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something,etc. I wonder if this kind of thinking, expecting the worst, actually help? maxs last blog post..US Healthcare: How to fix the Sicko

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:45:33 +0000

@ Marie

I understand. I have found myself negativising pretty frequently lately, which is why I wanted to revisit this information and write about it.

@ James

From the other end, yes, it is important to give positive feedback too. Unfortunately, the receiver can’t control that. Some of the other tips later will help with that.

@ Lillie

Those are some excellent tips. I would love it if people would post more tips.

By: Lillie Ammann

Lillie Ammann — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:08:48 +0000

John,
I just gave similar advice to a friend of mine who always looks at everything in a negative light. Three things have helped her: 1) the list you suggested including some positive elements of the situation even if there are more negatives; 2) positive affirmations on cards she carries with her to review when she starts getting negative; and 3) keeping a journal where she writes one positive comment every day–or at least the most positive thing she can come up. She’s no Pollyanna yet, but she’s come a long way in being able to see the positive along with the negative.

By: James Chartrand - Men with Pens

James Chartrand - Men with Pens — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:49:22 +0000

This is exactly why it’s crucial for people giving feedback to follow up a negative with a positive, or word the negative to be less hard-hitting. Gentle words don’t mean less impact.

And there’s always something good to compliment. Never leave that out.

By: Marie Ann Bailey

Marie Ann Bailey — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:44:14 +0000

Great post, John! Negativism can be a daily battle for many of us. I know I’ve been guilty of negativising, and it has definitely hindered my writing efforts in the past. But as I’ve gotten older, my skin has thickened and I’ve become better at weighing criticism and catastrophes. What I *still* struggle with is working with people who focus on the negative. As my skin has thickened, my patience has thinned, and I find it hard not to go up in smoke when a coworker lets loose with yet another rant against her poor pay, blah, blah, blah. But, in order to not be negativistic, I l (try to) learn from my reactions to other people’s negativism: “Please God, I don’t want to be like them!” So, instead of fueling the flames of my frustration, I (try to) take my coworker’s ranting as just another opportunity to remind myself why I need to find the positive in what might seem to be an otherwise bleak situation.

Marie Ann Baileys last blog post..Yet Another Glass Ceiling

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:22:46 +0000

Thank you for the comment CS. I like your advice. You have a great site and I have added it to my RSS feeds.

By: Chief Surgeon

Chief Surgeon — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 16:57:08 +0000

Good advise – but its not always easy to break out of self-destructive thought patterns and obsessions. Your distraction suggestion is a good one. Finding an activity that is totally immersive and engrossing can really help. For me it’s music – playing guitar and production on the computer.

Chief Surgeons last blog post..Stop Having Babies to Save the Planet