Minimizing occurs when you diminish the value of an accomplishment or skill. This frequently happens to writers who feel that success in an area came too easily or that people are overestimating the amount of work they did or the prestige of the accomplishment. This is a problem that I have dealt with frequently. It is a common problem for people who self-publish and therefore do not feel they had to overcome a gatekeeper in order to get their work out. There are plenty of other circumstances as well though, such as being published by a small or less choosy publisher or getting high praise for something that you feel you didn’t work hard on or otherwise didn’t put a “full” effort into.
Here is an example of minimizing:
Poor self talk: I got a great response to my article 6 Freelancing Lessons from Tony Stark, aka “Iron Man”, but all I really did was throw some tried and true information together with a few clever references. It’s not like I came up with anything new. All I did was tie it in with the latest blockbuster. I’m not even a real freelancer. I make far more money as a technical writer and a blogger than I do freelancing. In fact, the advice wasn’t really that specific to freelancers. I could have said “writers” and not changed another word. I’m a fraud. They should suspend my creative license.
Realistic self talk: I got a great response to my article 6 Freelancing Lessons from Tony Stark, aka “Iron Man”. I managed to explain some key strategies in a way that people can relate to and find interesting – even funny. I created an article that was so universal that anyone trying to make a living creatively could find value in it. I’ve been in the writing business for over 20 years and I’ve had both success and failure as a freelancer, fully-employed writer and as a blogger. That experience helped me to put together something that could genuinely help people. I rule!
Some ways to avoid minimizing
- Learn to accept praise
- It is ok to look for ways to improve, but don’t diminish your accomplishments in the process
- Don’t hold yourself to standards that are not possible given the situation
- Accept something less than total success
Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer
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{ 4 comments }
Ha! This isn’t just for writers. My Mrs. does this all the time! “Honey, dinner was delicious.” “Oh, it’s nothing, I just threw some stuff in the skillet.” etc., etc., etc.
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Oh, gee, John. I just realized that I do this with just about everything, including writing. Occasionally I’ll give myself a break on something I worked really hard on, but it’s so easy to minimize accomplishments, especially if they seemed “easy.” Thanks for the reality check.
@ WD
Praise is something many people have trouble with. Self-depreciation is a hard habit to break.
@ lornadoone
Setting a bunch of rules before you can consider something an accomplishment can be a real problem. I know a writer who got terribly depressed, after he won a Pulitzer Prize.
I do this all the time. And what you tell yourself can easily turn into what you tell others. I think I need to give myself a serious (and realistic) talking to.
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