Awfulizing occurs when you take a difficult situation or a problem and you turn it into a terrible, intolerable situation. Frequently a minor problem is built up into a major disaster. An equipment malfunction, a late check, a bad review or an altered deadline is interpreted as a disaster with far greater impact than it really has.
Poor self talk: The client wants this done by Friday. I was counting on another week. I haven’t got time for this now. I’m always getting rushed clients and it is destroying my ability to write good copy. They expect the impossible. I can’t deal with this level of stress. I should have taken that job at the post office like my Aunt Marion told me to. Damn you Aunt Marion!
Realistic self talk: The client wants this done by Friday. This is going to impact my schedule. I was going to work on my e-book on Wednesday and Thursday, but I can put that off. I can also cancel my lunch plans for tomorrow. This is an inconvenience, but it isn’t the end of the world. Clients are demanding rushed deadlines more often than I would like though, so I should look for ways to discourage this without ticking off my clients. I know they aren’t doing this on purpose. They probably don’t realize the stress it puts on me. On the plus side, my schedule should be pretty clear next week without this project on my list.
Some ways to avoid awfulizing
- Don’t dwell on the magnitude of problem. Look for solutions instead.
- Ask yourself what the benefits of getting upset are. There usually aren’t many benefits.
- When a problem seems impossible to tackle, break the solution up into smaller steps that you can handle.
Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer
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Negative self talk is not just bad for writers, it’s just bad period as negativity tends to breed more negativity. I know I’m not saying anything here that we don’t already know, I’m just kind of putting it out there as yet another reminder.
Clyde Denniss last blog post..You Have The Ability To Be Great
It’s easy to talk to ourselves in a negative way, the hard bit and the part which makes us successful, (whatever that is for you), is to talk to yourself in a positive way.
Thanks for the post.
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