Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer? (Me Too)
June 24, 2008 by J.C. Hewitt
Article by Jane
My younger brother is in medical school. In a few years, after he memorizes the circulatory system and passes all his boards and completes a rotation or two, he will be a doctor. People will call him doctor as they tell him about their phlegm and their bowels and their pain that only OxyContin can manage. One day he will be a student, and the next day he will be a doctor.
Becoming a writer is harder and easier. You can go to writing school, take out huge loans and pay professors to assign depressing modern classics for you to discuss at length. And when you graduate, you can add initials to your name, just like a doctor, only instead of M.D. it’s MFA or PhD or BS. No one will call you Master, but no one should tell you about their bowels either. If they do, you can move discreetly away with a clear conscience.
One hopes that you have started writing long before you get that degree. Or if you have demurred, preferring instead the smug-comfortable confidence that if only you were to write it would certainly be fantastic, then, at some point, you must begin writing. Writing is surely the least requirement of becoming a writer. You should probably even start writing on a regular basis – maybe even daily. Or weekly; whatever works.
The next step is to find an audience. You might enclose your poems in your regular correspondence, as Emily Dickinson did, or you might start a blog, though that is a drastic step. Getting paid for your work is always good. And writing is work, whatever anyone tries to tell you. Your favorite author might, rather disingenuously, claim to “simply enjoy writing,” but we both know that dance lessons for the kids and a trip to Disneyworld would go a long way.
Your audience will provide feedback, and it is not until you have been both paid for your writing and criticized for how inept, shallow, foolish, and nearsighted your opinions and prose are that you will realize that somehow you have become a writer. A bad writer, perhaps. A writer-in-progress, certainly. But, above all else, a writer. Not a “someday I will write a novel” dreamer or an “if only I had the time” lounger, but a writer.
When you have written enough to feel truly frustrated at your words’ demonic refusal to say what you mean, rejoice. If you were a medical student, here’s where someone would ask you for drugs, and you would realize that you have the power to write a prescription. Or not. Only you know what should be written.
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Jane writes the What About Mom? blog. She’s got eight years of experience mommy-ing and about two-and-a half months of considering herself a bad writer. Progress, indeed. It should also be noted that it was Jane’s husband who wracked up substantial loans at graduate school. Jane just paid attention at the dinner table.
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39 Responses to “Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer? (Me Too)”
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Jane, lovely piece! It brings to mind Barbara Kingsolver’s essay, “Stealing Apples,” where she says that she has never been able to say out loud that she is a poet. I love your paragraph about going to school to study “depressing modern classics.”
I am glad that you are writing and sharing it with the rest of us, but I am curious as to why you consider starting a blog a drastic step.
Keep writing!
Morgans last blog post..Reading & Thinking About Sustainability and the Workplace
Jane, what a fun read! Your comment that “writing is work, whatever anyone tries to tell you,” really resonates with me. When I can lose myself in my writing, then it’s fun, but getting there, getting to the point where I’m able to tune out the world around me, is very hard work. And then the realization that my first draft is not perfect and–goddess help me–I have to revise (again and again and again) … also not fun. But what else is one to do when there are stories to tell
Also, like Morgan, I’d like to hear why you think blogging is a “drastic step.” I know I worry about how long I’m going to be able to keep my blog going, but I’m not sure if that is what you mean.
Marie Ann Baileys last blog post..To overshare or not to overshare! That is the blogger’s question.
Morgan — Enh, the “drastic step” was supposed to be funny. Although, sometimes it really does seem like a drastic step, especially when I step back from it, disconnect from the computer for an ENTIRE WEEKEND. Then I wonder, How did this become so important to me? Probably it’s drastic because prior to blogging, the only writing I’d done since college was long emails to family and friends, who we lived far from.
How did you get started blogging? Was it just a natural progression of what you were already doing?
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..Because I don’t have any wild mustangs handy
Marie Ann — By stories, do you mean fiction? How I stand in awe of people with fictional characters and happenings populating their brains! I think I’d sell a kidney to have “my characters” “speak” to me, as I’ve heard writers describe it.
My blog is fueled by the everyday things that happen, especially in connection with my ultra-maddening yet ultimately-lovable kids. I also have motherhood (in particular, SAHMotherhood) angst, and angst is an excellent fuel.
Why do you worry about keeping your blog going? Lack of time, ideas, motive, reward, interest?
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..Because I don’t have any wild mustangs handy
[...] but thanks to my blog, I’m now writing on a (near) daily basis. Click over to Jane’s post, and see how ready you are to call yourself a writer. [...]
[...] for the love of everything holy, go comment on my poor little offering. Thanks! I’ll even close comments here so we can pretend that I’m stopping hordes of [...]
Hahaha!
So, will it really work to include my poems in with regular correspondance?
I’m going to try that.
Jane, I think you have characters-in-the-making running all around you (and, yes, they are beautiful–I’ve been to your blog). I don’t think I’ve ever written a character that didn’t have some basis in a real person. In fact, I sometimes start off with a real person and then, as the story develops, let the character morph accordingly. Here’s an example: one of my stories involves a city attorney who is fighting to save her ancestral property from a land-greedy developer. Both the city attorney and the land developer characters were originally based on a city attorney and land developer that I had crossed paths with. I know enough about the real people to spark a story (come up with a plot), but I have to create their histories and their motivations to make the story work. By the time my story was finished, my characters had come into their own and have only a pale resemblance (if even that) with the real people. I hope this makes sense. I’ve heard of writers using their own children’s antics to write children’s stories, others who mine the histories of their own families for characters and plots. Your characters may already be speaking to you … you just need to listen
As for my blog: I worry most about having time. I have a day job and then myriad other interests that compete for my attention. In fact, I’ll be switching to a new day job in a couple of weeks and I know I won’t have the luxury of jumping onto my laptop whenever I feel like it. And I should be working on my stories … and I love to knit and quilt and sew (and I have five (soon to be six) great nieces and nephews to keep me forever inspired in needlecrafts). And I try to exercise every day and I have three cats … so, if I could only do without sleep …
Did I mention all the books I want to read, too?
Marie Ann Baileys last blog post..When to Call Yourself a Writer
I am only a writer by definition, (the fact that I am writing now). I love to read other’s work though and that has led me to take the “drastic” step of having a blog. Rather than being some random chick commenting to someone else they can go and peruse my not so original thoughts and life. Thanks for the awesome post!
Laura Williamss last blog post..Are You Ready To Rrruuummmble?
It’s taken me an incredibly long time to call myself a writer. It took me longer than the others around me who’ve been saying it for years.
There isn’t a ‘degree’ moment with an announcement of ‘you are now and forever more.’
Great post.
Genevieves last blog post..Mama Reads: From illegal home births to pranks gone wrong
I’m one of those “if I only had the time” non-writers. Now that my job description includes academic writing, I’m in the “writing is work” camp. And I am terrified of my colleagues tearing my work to pieces. But I suppose a bad writer is a writer nonetheless, so I’ll take comfort in that. Great post.
Great piece! I always enjoy your writing and this was no exception! My own journey as a writer seems like it is just developing though I’ve been writing (and publishing) since college. I wonder if I will ever be to a point where I will think of myself as a real writer and not a girl who is trying to be a writer.
I remember in middle school on career day we had the assignment to dress as the profession we wanted to go into when we grew up. I put on a long gypsy skirt, one of my mom’s old hippie tops, and carried a book my mom and I had made a cover for with the title and artwork for “my” book. I wanted to be a writer then and ever since.
But, acknowledging myself as a writer can be really difficult. In fact, I only started calling myself a writer when I got tired of seeing people’s reaction to being a SAHM. Calling myself a writer is a much sexier answer to the inevitable dinner party question of “what do you do?” I can pretend that my day is filled with editing articles and writing life-changing prose instead of chasing insanely hyperactive girls who love nothing more than to create laundry and dishes for me to do! : )
WAy to go, WRITER-lady…
Geez. Make me sign up for a new feeder thingy just to post a poorly thought out comment. The things we do for friends…
traceys last blog post..The balloon theory
I’m sure if I took the time to write it really WOULD be fantastic. I mean all these ideas i have floating around, they really are amazing.
because my title at work has the word “writer” in it, I consider myself a writer although not the kind I wish i could be. I think it is interesting thought that almost everyone I encounter either IS a writer at heart or thinks “i could write”. Sometimes I think the one talent I (think I) have isn’t really a talent at all, but just something everyone else is born with too.
Good job on the guest post!
Julias last blog post..Gettin’ Cozy at the Cone
Thanks so much for this post. I often wonder what is actually so scary about allowing myself to become a writer, when in all actuality it is what i really love to do. I definitely get into the “IfI only Had the time to write” zone. but then again who does have the time? I guess a writer makes the time, and thats what separates them from a “non-writer.”
Marie Ann — Good example. I do, of course, already look to my life for the nonfiction stuff I write. My hope is that, as with the blog, writing fiction (whenever I get around to it) will just grow and grow the more I do it. It’s like the Annie Dillard quote from The Writing Life:
“One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”
I hear you on the lack of time. I always tell myself I could stop blogging (I could WANT to stop blogging) if I replace it with some other sort of writing. I just don’t want to go back to not writing (almost) daily.
Laura Williams — I think that really is the only inarguable definition of writer, and I love the internet because anyone can do it. Democracy and self-determination don’t get any better than that!
Genevieve — Yep, and I think that’s both great and scary!
Carolina — My scariest critic is my husband, and a few other people who I know are way smarter than me (everyone else is just a little bit smarter). If I can get them to say something like “great post,” it makes my day. Law professors might be a tougher crowd, though.
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..My first guest gig: Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer (Me Too)
Very nice piece; we’re all in-progress, aren’t we? There’s no finish line when it comes to writing, only steady improvement (and hopefully, more and better-paying gigs).
I’m with you on the drastic step of blogging – it’s a whole different kind of writing, one that requires you to open a personal window onto your soul rather than just create characters and march them through a tangled plot. There’s a certain jumping-off-a-cliff element to blogging, too. Bravery required and all that.
Jenna — I’m always shocked when “published” writers express uncertainty over the title. What more affirmation could there be?
Wow! I, too, started calling myself a writer almost out of self-defense, or like when you have to fill out the occupation space on all those school and doctor and swim lesson forms. Got tired of writing “homemaker.”
Love the story about your mom’s hippie top. Maybe if I knew what a writer is supposed to dress like; my underwear probably doesn’t cut it.
Tracey — Thanks for perservering. Your thought is appreciated, however well (or not) thought out!
Julia — You make a good point, and I think that a lot of writers (maybe fiction or “serious” writers) probably think all the hoi polloi running around thinking “I could be a writer if I really wanted to be” are pretty pathetic. I’ve read some of Kasey Michaels’ series with Maggie Kelly the romance writer as the protagonist, and I can just hear her sneering. But, the only thing that separates us is the doing, and maybe the energy/determination/stamina of the doing. Someday.
jaime j — Yep. If you just do it, then you are it.
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..My first guest gig: Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer (Me Too)
I have a hard time calling myself an artist, or even a graphic designer. Even though I have an art degree, and have been gainfully employed as a graphic designer for 10 years. But within a marketing department…there’s always the caveat.
And then there’s the response “Wow, that’s so cool”, I have so say “No, no it really isn’t”
cristans last blog post..Everything old is new again
Marianne — Interesting. I actually think the fiction sounds even more scary. If I could only think up a plot . . . My soul is pretty open.
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..My first guest gig: Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer (Me Too)
Cristan — My husband and I were talking about this sort of thing lately. He is going to be speaking at a university career day-type thing in the fall. We both graduated in English, and he’s got an MFA in creative nonfiction. Now he’s a technical writer and doesn’t know how to make technical writing sound cool to idealistic college peoples who think that is “selling out.”
I say “life is selling out” (a la Princess Bride). Unless you are in the .0001 percent of people who accidentally making a living doing ART in your garret, you will probably “sell out” at some point. Might as well enjoy it!
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..My first guest gig: Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer (Me Too)
@Jane, thanks for answering my question. And I will attempt to return the favor.
How I got started blogging? I spent the spring semester discussing different types of writing with my classmates, professors, and my own students. Some of the discussions were about building communities, including writing communities. Also, my work background is in public relations/communications. So all of these things kind of came together and I decided to explore some of my ideas about sustainability and community in a blog.
Morgans last blog post..Reading & Thinking About Sustainability and the Workplace
Jane,
It took me a long time to call myself a writer, which I think is common. Your post is a great reminder that you’re a writer if you write. It doesn’t matter if your work is published – or even if anyone else reads it. It doesn’t matter if it’s “bad” – though yours is excellent! If you write, you’re a writer.
The difference between being a writer and being a doctor strikes me as interesting. You’ve got me thinking about this, and exactly when I began to call myself as a writer.
I remember Writing Fellows in college. That was when our teacher instilled in us the idea that we were writers and should call ourselves writers. That was a groundbreaking moment.
The later MFA did not change how I thought of myself. I went to school to earn an MFA because I was a writer seeking to become a better writer. Not to become a writer. Cool post.
Afraid to Call Yourself a Writer? (Me Too) : PoeWar.com Writer’s Resource Center…
This is a thought-provoking article about the time one starts to call him or herself a “writer.” I guess hard-core tech commers resist the term “writer.” Still, I think many of us are writers at heart, earning our living in technical employment. I …
Becoming a doctor is a lot more complicated than Jane described. My husband is in residency right now, and that’s where most of the learning happens. Residency takes place after 4 years of medical school. And medical school takes place after 4+ years of chemistry physics microbiology in undergrad. Residency last 3-6 years and it involves 90+++ hours work weeks with no time off as well as a huge amount of constant studying and taking 8 hour long tests. One of my husband’s favorite pastimes before medical school and residency was reading and writing. In the last 5 years he has not had time to read a book or write for fun. So, Jane, you have no idea what it means to become a doctor.
I consider myself a great writer. I don’t publish my work and I don’t even have a blog. I write weekly in my journal for my posterity. in addition to summarizing the happenings in my life , I write about my past and about my current spiritual experiences. i share my writings with friends and family via email. Often, my friends/family forward my emails to their friends and family and occasionally I am asked to compile my writings into a book. But my audience is my posterity so I don’t feel a need to publish and to be recognized. I just want to instill in the future generations of my family what I have learned.
I’ve been blogging for over 2 years and seriously pursuing freelancing for about 6 months.
I’ve come to realize that although it’s cool to receive a paycheck and see your actual words in print, it sure does take a lot of effort. I think that right now I’m happy blogging.
Morgan — “Building communities” seems to be a big “it” phrase right now, along with “transparency,” but even though they’re so in vogue, I think they really do explain a lot of the appeal and purpose behind blogging. How cool that your blog is a community about community!
Lillie — Thanks! I wonder (as I hinted in an earlier comment) if some published authors might be sneering at me as I call myself a writer. But, sneering is a pretty awkward facial expression, so I hope they (whoever “they” might be) don’t spend too much time doing it.
Tom — My one true love. Huh, so, I called myself a writer in Writing Fellows in college, too, and felt that, but then I became a mother or something, so maybe I’m just reclaiming or expanding?
Sylwia — I think you’ve misunderstood me. I certainly didn’t mean to belittle the education or training or time commitment involved in becoming a doctor. I was just pointing out that doctors have a graduation ceremony, after which they are called “Doctor.”
The beauty of writing is that anyone can write in their journal and be asked to compile their writings in a book, and decline, and proclaim that they are a great writer without ever needing (or desiring?) some sort of degree or other external affirmation that they are indeed a writer.
But while anyone can call herself “a writer,” it’s not even a proper title like doctor. I wouldn’t call you Writer Hardman, but I would call your husband Dr. Hardman. Of course, plumbers don’t get called Plumber Hardman, even after a vocational program and apprenticeship, so maybe I’m stretching things.
Anyway, the part that self-determination plays in the developing identity of many writers (myself included) is often significant and problematic, but it sounds like you were fortunate to never struggle with how to identify yourself.
Jennifer — Poewar’s got some great resources on pursuing freelance. Blogging, for me, is definitely more creatively fulfilling, and the results are much more immediate.
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..The Finer Things in Life: Air-Conditioning, Leather Seats in the Minivan, Pediatric Dentistry
Jane,
While school is always good, there’s nothing like experience to help one grow as a writer. Writers write because they can’t not write–or at least they can’t do so for very long and remain happy and fulfilled. When a writer doesn’t write–other than during times of voluntary rest, refreshment, recharging, or relaxation–he or she definitely feels a void. That creative urge that resides deep within the soul of every writer–experienced or novice–is what drives our desire to express our thoughts through the written word and keep doing so, while we continually grow our expertise and develop our own unique voice and style.
We are, every one of us a “writer-in-progress.”
Keep up the great work!
Jeanne
I guess I’m a little ashamed to admit that I fall into the “someday I’ll write a novel” category. I’m not sure whether to thank you for helping me understand my writing identity or to be offended by your candor.
Excellent piece. I really like the analogy of the doctor and the unity it provides to your thoughts.
Jeanne — I hear what you say, but surely, that inner voice can be muffled or nurtured, based on how or if we respond, right? Or does it have to be an un-ignorable impulse? Because sometimes I feel like I could never write again. Until I get another idea, anyway. (And sometimes years have passed between).
Brad — I think way too many people fall into the “someday I’ll write” category, me included. Kinda like “someday I’ll ____________” There are about a million things I could put there. Carpe diem, eh?
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..The Finer Things in Life: Air-Conditioning, Leather Seats in the Minivan, Pediatric Dentistry
Jane-I’ll have to chew on your piece for awhile. I think everyone has a story to tell. Some tell it in a way that apeals to others. Either with an audience or without, writing has cathartic benefits. I’m glad to hear of your path and your guts to write and post about it!
Jane,
That inner voice can indeed be ignored, and I think most of us have at one time or another found ourselves wondering where we’d ever find the creative spark we need to accomplish those literary gymnastics we call writing even one more time. Yet, even then that spark, though dormant, lies buried there just waiting to be revived by a thought, a feeling, an impression, or an inspiration which starts the whole magical process all over again — just as you’ve said.
I, too, have muffled that inner voice, ignoring my creative impulse for years, at times. But, I’ve always found that whenever I’ve done that I’ve experienced an undercurrent of discontent (or maybe “yearning” would be a better word) — sometimes barely perceptible and sometimes drowned out by life’s distractions, but really always there just waiting to surface again — until I’ve taken it upon myself to satisfy that yearning (or nurture that impulse) in the only way I could: by writing.
The creative impulse certainly is a mystery–but that’s what makes it so incredibly fascinating!
Jeanne
Danielle — I almost can’t make up my mind which is the better (more authentic, more real) writing — that done for an audience (because then you consider both sides more maybe?) or that done for oneself. Thoughts?
Jeanne — Definitely! It’s like the adage to pray until you feel like praying, only Write until you MUST WRITE. And yes, fascinating!
Jane @ What About Moms last blog post..Did You Hear the One About the Sworn Virgins in Albania?
I was thankful that when I was done with school that my degree came with a built in job title (pharmacist). I would have been uncomfortable as someone with a degree, but needing to find a job to find out what I would be. Once, when I was having a crisis of career, I worked for a few months writing policies, procedures and protocols for a healthcare company. I don’t think I was very good at it. I was definitely not very fast at it. I got paid by the hour and used to fudge my hours (in my employer’s favor) so they would not know it took me as long as it did to write each document.
Andrea — Tom fudges his hours in favor of the client on every single freelance project he does, and it drives me crazy! I wonder how many writers (or writing people at the time) do this sort of thing in the desire to appear more “competent” than they are.
Knowing that both you and Tom have perfectionist tendencies, I’m sure your employer was as happy with the finished product as Tom’s clients usually are. But I wonder how widespread this sort of underreporting is.
Jane – I’ve been lurking on your blog for a few months now, and I love your writing style. I wonder why it’s so scary to call yourself a writer. I’ve been writing for decades, I teach kids how to write, and I still hesitate. But I keep on writing. Thanks for sharing your talent!
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Nice post. I have been paid for both writing and editing. If someone asks me I say I have been an editor, not that I have been a writer. It just seems a bit too much like bragging or maybe I am just embarassed by my publications.
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