Comments on: 30 Poems in 30 Days: Syllabic Verse

By: Saul Nadata

Saul Nadata — Sun, 11 May 2008 04:37:15 +0000

Sorry, posted the last draft too soon…

Baby in the Pool

You stood
on the shallow
step, grinning, holding on,
ready to be launched into the
deep end.

Saul Nadatas last blog post..Your Paper

By: Poetry in Forms Series: Cinquain | Writer's Resource Center

Poetry in Forms Series: Cinquain | Writer's Resource Center — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:11:34 +0000

[...] 30 Poems in 30 Days: Syllabic Verse [...]

By: Poetry Writing Tips | Writer's Resource Center

Poetry Writing Tips | Writer's Resource Center — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:49:48 +0000

[...] 30 Poems in 30 Days: Syllabic Verse [...]

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:11:48 +0000

“lolol . . . John, that is exactly why I used it in this case . . . I love Dark Shadows — oooooeeeeee ! ! ! ! The goth, the vamp — even in early childhood . . . .”

… I have no response to that.

By: Connie Williams

Connie Williams — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:44:24 +0000

lolol . . . John, that is exactly why I used it in this case . . . I love Dark Shadows — oooooeeeeee ! ! ! ! The goth, the vamp — even in early childhood . . . .

By: Rosemary Nissen-Wade

Rosemary Nissen-Wade — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:07:55 +0000

Nah, don’t like “rumour” – I’m LOOKING at him, after all. But thanks for pointing out the weakness; I’ll think up some other word or phrase. Maybe “suggestion” or “trace”or …

Someone on MySpace noted that the 2nd and 3rd lines of 4th verse pulled her away from the poem – and I realised that in those lines I stop looking AT him and start thinking ABOUT him. So one way and another, this is in for a bit of a rewrite.

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:18:08 +0000

Connie: It is your choice of course. It just doesn’t evoke much for me. When I read it I think, “of course the shadow is dark, that’s what a shadow is.” I also think of the TV soap Opera with the vampires.

By: Connie Williams

Connie Williams — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:14:03 +0000

Yes, I use a lot of dark shadows. I will probably leave it, but I will take another look at both of them. Diane Wakowski uses a repetition of colors, foods, jewelry, and confessionals. Margarette Atwood uses cold things, like snow and ice, desolation. Kate Chopin used birds. Marge Piercy used cats and vegetables in her earlier work, she is a gardner, and also, feminist victimization . Denice Levertov uised repetitive themes of joy and beauty, ekphrases abound. She peppered her poems with oodles of line breaks and breath spaces, in the tradition of the Black Mountain school.

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:58:46 +0000

CM: The Summer Cinquain is excellent. I wasn’t quite as excited by the Tanka, the language seemed a little too formal.

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:56:34 +0000

Rosemary,

Hint of a frown is a little everyday, how about “the rumor of a frown”?