Comments on: 30 Poems in 30 Days: Repetition

By: ester

ester — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:19:34 +0000

Here is an edited version!! I am quite new with poetry, please bear with me!! Here is my experiment with repetition, I am also poor at punctuation

The forbidden fruit
Ever so sweet,
If only it were not
such an impossible feat;
My darling,
you would be my only.

Temptation, so hard to resist
Why does it have to be so sweet?
This attraction I wish to fight
All these dark corners I want to detest.
My love, I try but my feet wander
If only it weren’t so sweet
This game of deceit;
My dearest,
You would be my only.

The forbidden fruit
Ever so sweet,
If only I were not
Such a passionate flirt
My love,
You would be my only.

By: rencontre

rencontre — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:22:09 +0000

You forgot the D for Delta like Gibraltar… lol

By: Zita

Zita — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:13:17 +0000

Here is my poem experimenting with repetition:

Checkpoint Charlie

A is for Alpha and the bold allied forces.
B is for Bravo and Berlin torn in two.
C is for Charlie, the bleak cold war
and the critical crossing where
a tank clash crudely endorses
the violent longing to leave
in each bitter face in the queue.

By: Saul Nadata

Saul Nadata — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:58:16 +0000

Snail

Desiring the exhilarations of changes:
The draw of a circle of light on a dark thrush,
A dark thrush thrumming with denser darks-

Where you yourself would not be quite yourself-
Long straight vertical climb up,
Up the long slats of speckled black.

The obscure moon lighting an obscure world
Reveals a single iridescent orange streak,
A single snail caught in ascent
Along the unpainted universe of a trash can.

Saul Nadatas last blog post..Snail

By: Rosemary Nisen-Wade

Rosemary Nisen-Wade — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 14:47:51 +0000

Who Knew: Oh, your meaning is very clear! I was just curious to know more specific details because you got me interested.

By: Who Knew

Who Knew — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 03:24:02 +0000

Rosemary – yes it is rather obscure to everyone on the planet but me.I really should expand if I want to write things that people other will read.
I cheated and used something I wrote some years ago. I was exploring how much of a fraud I felt I was, as compared to the strong, well adjusted, honourable single mother I was widely perceived to be.
Thanks

By: Rosemary Nissen-Wade

Rosemary Nissen-Wade — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:39:57 +0000

Who knew: This is good, but the last verse makes me want to know much more about the situation!

By: Who knew

Who knew — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:37:35 +0000

I look, I talk but I never do,
Am I noble and principled or
am I just scared ?

I want, I talk but I never do,
Am i holding out for what is right or
am i just making excuses ?

I dream, I talk but i never do,
Am I protecting my children or
am I just hiding behind them ?

By: John Hewitt

John Hewitt — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:59:58 +0000

The Week

Sleeping and Sleeping
In bed since work ended
Waiting to work again
Sleeping then following
This day into the next

Pushing and Pushing
Establishing patterns
A pattern before breakfast
Another by lunch
Pushing through afternoon
One hour into the next

Talking and Talking
Conversations take time
Time to keep passing
Forty hours in four days
Then three days away
Home and back and home

By: Rosemary Nissen-Wade

Rosemary Nissen-Wade — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:23:41 +0000

Ah, with all this poeticising, the subconscious is fully engaged by now! I didn’t have any notion of topic, but as soon as I turned my attention to the idea of repetition, up welled the song, “River of No Return” with all its repetitions, and I was away. I think I’ve been unconsciously waiting decades to write this one! (Ever since Elton – or was that Bernie Taupin? – beat me to it in the first place.)