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30 Poems in 30 Days: Elegies and Memories

September 11, 2007 by John Hewitt 

30 Poems in 30 DaysThis is Day 8 of 30 Poems in 30 Days

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? (Hamlet, V.i)

Writing an Elegy

Today is, or at least should be, a day of reflection here in America. The events of 9/11 have had an impact on our country that is still being actively felt and that I believe will be thought about and discussed, not just for years, but for centuries to come. Poetry has, from its beginning days onward, been a tool of remembrance. From Homer’s Iliad through Tennyson’s The Charge of the Light Brigade to Pinsky’s 9/11, poetry has been used to remember people and events, both heroic and tragic. Poems of this type are called elegies.

As a form, the elegy is very flexible. The term elegy should not be confused with the similar term, eulogy, which is a speech given at a funeral. An elegy is a poem of mourning and reflection. The original elegies were written in elegiac meter. Elegiac meter consists of couplets composed of a line of dactylic hexameter followed by a line of dactylic pentameter. That traditional meter (we will discuss meter in greater depth soon) is no longer required for a poem to be an elegy. All that is required is that it remembers a person’s death or other tragic event such as a battle or a natural disaster.

Poems of this type tend to carry a lot of emotion. The feelings one has about a significant event, especially a tragic one, can be complex and even contradictory. You might mourn a friend or relative but still be angered by the choices they made. You might admire the heroism of battle but recognize its flaws. Poetry is one way to work through those emotions.

When approaching material of this sort, it can be emotionally draining but also cathartic. Many people carry around these emotions and thoughts without ever being able to express them or consciously deal with them. As a poet, you can at least put your thoughts on paper, which allows you to process those thoughts and come to some sort of emotional closure.

Today’s Poetry Assignment

Write an elegy about a person or event that is meaningful to you. You don’t necessarily have to approach the most tragic event in your life. Don’t try to take on an event that is still too difficult for you to deal with. Look for something that you can handle.

Today’s Recommended Poet

Dean Young is a poet whose influence seems to increase with each new work. His poetry tends toward the surreal, but is always insightful and often genuinely funny. His poem Elegy on a Toy Piano is written for fellow poet Kenneth Koch, one of the Twentieth Century’s true greats. Don’t hesitate to read Kenneth Koch, but because my recommendations are based on working poets, please try Dean Young first. He’s still alive and worthy of a long look.

Poems on the web

Books by Dean Young

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Email: hewitt@poewar.com
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29 Responses to “30 Poems in 30 Days: Elegies and Memories”

  1. Sandra on September 11th, 2007 2:48 pm

    O’ Sweet Muses
    Where have you gone off to?
    Skating and singing on a stage in leg warmers and feathered hair
    Damn you all for leaving me again!
    I sit and watch old episodes of
    Mad About You
    Read books peevishly while begrudgingly admitting
    How much more talented the writer is than me
    Muses, where have you gone?
    Left me to further your Broadway career
    Left me staring blankly at a cold computer screen
    As my unfinished novel collects dust and cyber rust
    Deceitful nymphs, you taunt me with your flighty ways
    Appearing in dreams only to vanish upon
    Awakening
    Instead of reaching for a pen and paper
    I reach for a glossy magazine to squander my lunch hour away
    Damn you double for that!
    Now I know more about Lindsey and Britney than Shakespeare!!!!!
    My brain is mush but my house has never been tidier
    I’ve even taken up clouds as a hobby (WTF!?!?!?!?)
    And find myself writing in adolescent, internet shorthand (see line above)
    I beg you Muses
    Return to me so that I might feel alive again
    If you don’t, I’ll blog Xanadu as the worst movie ever made
    Set fire to every stage it’s performed on
    So that you are as cursed by my presence
    As I am by the lack of yours
    It will be Macbeth reborn!
    Muawhahahahahaha!
    Please return to me
    For I think I’m going insane

  2. Rosemary Nissen-Wade on September 11th, 2007 10:56 pm

    Oh oh oh! Pure heaven! How are any of us ever going to top this? Thank you Sandra for making my day.

  3. Connie Williams on September 12th, 2007 7:32 am

    Sandra, this is exactly how I feel right now trying to execute an elegy . . . it’s way to painful, but I have one taking shape . . .

  4. Connie Williams on September 12th, 2007 8:18 am

    Elegy for Billy

    i.
    I don’t remember standing in the drive-way reading,
    overjoyed my letter was not returned, that this small envelope came back in it’s place

    I opened it, thinking to find his face silhouetted in the slender handwriting on the page, perhaps a trace, a hint of his scent, it was after all his return address

    First I thought it was his father’s death; the lines described,
    How he walked across the street, lay down on his bed and went to sleep, which made me sad, but then I saw the III behind the name

    Oh, but it took moments for brain to comprehend that was not the same, William Joseph Gautreau III passed away last month, he was buried on a July day. He always spoke of you with fondness, how startled you discovered ships navigating the canal from the second story window in his house.

    From the Prairie to New Orleans, he said, called you Little Mouse,
    Sadly written, his mother May

    No longer could I now suspend belief, my screams gave no relief
    That night naked in the shower on my new love’s shoulder I wept
    Get over it my new friend said, you are years older, much bolder, and quiet sane
    Just the same he held me tightly in the flooding water as I called the other’s name

    ii.
    He was a fun loving, warm hearted, generous, self-starting man
    He never quit loving or giving some friend a helping hand
    Thoughtful and playful he always made everyone laugh
    An artist and craftsman his work made the magazines sell
    He business was women, he made all their flaws turn to awes
    He made me a beauty, perfection was me in his eyes

    iii.
    Sometimes I dream and he’s not gone; I fly freely on around the labyrinth of his house
    Remember his stride, his winsome pride and the t-shirt he always had on
    He’s in those Kaki pants, the horn-rimmed glasses hide his glance
    I want to kiss the lisp upon his lips yet again
    I watch once more, as he tore down the door between our homes
    Took me in his arms, to relish all my charms, so eager he got caught in his zipper
    I laughed till I crashed, but he didn’t think it funny right away
    And now in my dreams, we remember how he schemed to get me layed
    And everything’s alright, just the way it was that night
    Billy and me in my dreams

  5. Sandra Cano on September 12th, 2007 9:30 am

    Rosemary- Ha ha ha! Thank you so much! I’m so glad I was able to make your day. Thank goodness for John’s “30 poems in 30 days” or else I might not have written anything this month!

    Connie- The song “My Immortal” by Evanesence began to play on my computer as soon as I started reading your poem and the effect was truly chilling. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. I hope it was cathartic…

  6. Rosemary Nissen-Wade on September 13th, 2007 1:47 am

    I sometimes think I specialise in elegies! Comes of getting older. But this one’s been a long time coming.

    Elegy for Bill

    Willem Johan Nissen,
    b. Naarden, Holland, 21 Feb. 1936,
    d. Melbourne, Australia, 10 Jan. 1995.

    I didn’t weep for you
    when our youngest with loud sobbing
    phoned the news of your death.

    Nor during his long calls later
    distraught at 3 am, while I lay and listened
    beside my new husband.

    I didn’t cry at the funeral,
    where some of your old friends didn’t know
    we had already parted.

    I’d done all my weeping back then,
    stumbling alone through Melbourne streets
    to file for our divorce.

    The boys (well, men in their twenties)
    cried enough for all of us
    as we scrubbed your house for the wake.

    Every so often we’d have to stop
    for their overflowing tears and wails,
    group hugs with shoulders shaking.

    Or the oldest would lie on the couch
    clasping the cushion to his wet face
    while his girl stroked his back.

    Steadfast in that turmoil,
    her tact and empathy won my heart.
    She hadn’t even met you yet.

    And so she never did.
    Too bad – you’d have liked her.
    They’re seven years married now.

    I didn’t even cry when I viewed your body,
    though halfway across the empty chapel
    my feet stopped. I said, “I can’t do this.”

    One each side, our sons took my arms.
    “Yes you can, Mum. You must.”
    They were right, they knew. They’d done it.

    And I saw you were not in the body.
    I looked at your face suddenly old,
    and touched the cheek with one finger.

    When I’d cut the ties, earlier,
    my instructor examined your photo
    and said, “Oh, he’s not a bad man.”

    I don’t know what she’d expected.
    But it’s true – you were not.
    We just grew out of each other.

    It’s taken me twelve years seven months
    to finally sit down and write
    the end of our story.

    And still I’ve said nothing
    about you, who you were,
    why I loved you and why I left.

    There were so many adventures!
    Perhaps now, one day soon,
    I’ll be able to start at the beginning.

  7. John Hewitt on September 13th, 2007 3:24 am

    An Elegy for Quick Timmy

    I have known you since the sixth grade my friend
    Black hair blue teeth bad attitude
    They were all there from then until the end
    A heart that was built to rebel
    When no one else would speak or dare protest
    You spoke and said what came to mind
    Without a thought to give to consequence
    You got away with it each time
    And I dubbed you the crown prince of bullshit
    Talking your way out of it all

    Despite a slight contempt for all your peers
    You joined the groups I held back from
    You sang Guys and Dolls with the high school choir
    You joined the band without a note
    You made your friends and more friends than I could
    Or would have tried to make myself
    And you shared them with me most of the time
    Telling me what you thought of them
    Making it clear that I was the close one
    I was keeper of the secrets

    You got out of this town quick as you could
    Without quite a path or a plan
    Which was the way you led most of your life
    Denver London Cincinnati
    You went where you wanted and each new place
    Came with stories and adventures
    You should have written down but never did
    They are still stuck inside my head
    Secrets I continue to keep for you
    And jokes no one would get but me

    Was it six months ago that you called me
    Telling me you were coming back
    Just as soon as you could get the money
    And find a job to get you by
    I must admit I knew you would not come
    It was a good thing to hear but
    No one ever has come back here again
    And you were not the one to start
    You were more of a myth than fact to me
    Back here you would have been just you

    So now I have to say goodbye to you
    Sad you are gone but no regrets
    I will miss the stories both true and bull
    And I will miss your confidence
    Thirty years and only one decent fight
    Many laughs to remember and
    So much too much that I will now forget
    Without you to set my mind back
    Goodbye true friend good friend my friend
    I will I must now carry on

  8. Rosemary Nissen-Wade on September 13th, 2007 4:35 am

    Dear Connie and John, both yours are moving!

  9. cerebralmum on September 13th, 2007 7:08 am

    Blight

    We planted wisteria for you
    last week
    in cold, loamy soil.
    It is dormant now,
    awaiting your arrival.

    Full bellied,
    hands resting
    on the curve of you,
    she said as a child would
    -This week
    we’re growing teeth.

    The next day
    he turns the echo
    away from her,
    he says
    -There is no yolk.

    You never divided
    to become one of us.

    It falls to me
    to keep a silent vigil
    while she rides
    the contractions of your passing,
    to boil water,
    make useless tea,
    remove blood-stained towels
    as you seep into the sheets
    before her drained
    and empty slumber.

    In early spring
    long racemes of purple
    will hang above our doorway
    but we can never
    bring you home.

  10. cerebralmum on September 13th, 2007 7:09 am

    Blight

    We planted wisteria for you
    last week
    in cold, loamy soil.
    It is dormant now,
    awaiting your arrival.

    Full bellied,
    hands resting
    on the curve of you,
    she said as a child would
    -This week
    we’re growing teeth.

    The next day
    he turns the echo
    away from her,
    he says
    -There is no yolk.

    You never divided
    to become one of us.

    It falls to me
    to keep a silent vigil
    while she rides
    the contractions of your passing,
    to boil water,
    make useless tea,
    remove blood-stained towels
    as you seep into the sheets
    before her drained
    and empty slumber.

    In early spring
    long racemes of purple
    will hang above our doorway
    but we can never
    bring you home.

  11. Sandra on September 13th, 2007 10:34 am

    I couldn’t agree more Rosemary…. Yours is incredible as well…. The visuals each one of these elegies has etched in my mind are miraculous. Thank you all for sharing these experiences which must have been nothing short of painful.

  12. Who knew on September 13th, 2007 4:46 pm

    I saw good in you
    You fought hard against it
    I arrogantly believed I could help you be the best that you could be without obligation
    You just wanted distraction and oblivion
    I needed time out from the madness
    You descended furthur into it
    I chose to embrace loneliness as serenity and peace
    You ran from it and it bit deeper

    I left at 5am that morning – you were twitchy as I kissed your sleeping face goodbye
    You were gone by lunch time ………… If i knew I would have woken you

  13. 30 poems… #8 on September 13th, 2007 7:13 pm

    [...] 8th assignment from 30 poems in 30 days… Elegies and [...]

  14. cerebralmum on September 15th, 2007 4:58 pm

    Who knew: I found this chilling and poignant.

  15. Who knew on September 15th, 2007 7:55 pm

    Thanks cerebralmum.
    I find the quality of poetry here quite intimidating and this is the first poem I have ever (and I mean ever) ‘published’. As it is, in my nervousness and hurry to send before I changed my mind, I stuffed the last line that should have read:
    ‘if I’d known I would have woken you’

  16. Rosemary Nissen-Wade on September 16th, 2007 6:24 am

    Who knew: I echo cerebralmum’s response to your poem, and applaud your courage in not only publishing here for the first time ever but also choosing such a deeply personal piece to do it with. I also admire the way you tell the whole story with such economy!

  17. Who knew on September 16th, 2007 8:46 pm

    Thanks Rosemary :)

  18. Rosemary Nissen-Wade on September 17th, 2007 5:43 am

    cerebralmum:I said it already on your own site, but want to say here too – your piece is not only heartbreaking but also very beautiful.

  19. Connie Williams on September 17th, 2007 11:53 am

    Who Knew — my goodness, I didn’t even notice the grammer thing in the last line — sure didn’t get in the way of my reaction. I too like the economy.

  20. John Hewitt on September 19th, 2007 7:37 pm

    WK: I agree with the others. A very nice “first publication”. I hope you write more.

    Elegies are very challenging, and I think everyone contributed great work. I hope a little catharsis was good for everyone.

  21. Rianon Burnet on October 3rd, 2007 12:40 pm

    Loneliness

    A bitter hole
    Made of dark and gray
    A swirling world wind engulfs me
    But never making me whole;
    Sour pain kills me
    My heart aches
    My eyes show of this;
    For everyone to see;

    Pain constricts my chest
    Darkness drowns my eyes
    Emotions flood my body
    And none lay to rest
    There’s darkness in the fear of sorrow
    A clan of mutants;
    Here for the terrible up bringing;
    For my past will always follow

    Traction skips
    Doubts fill me
    Questions fog my view
    My mind flips
    Your stair stings my eyes
    I know you judge me
    Will you be no more?
    Or will you just walk by

    My feelings show
    On my skin;
    Arms body
    And soul;
    I tremble
    My skin gets clammy
    Your eyes show me
    Pure judgmental;

    This is my action
    My scars, self inflicted
    And all my emotions;
    But full intention;
    A pit of resolutions;
    I dig in deep
    To find you crawling in my skin;
    And swimming through my body’s solutions;

    A face of interest;
    But split at the knee;
    I see you here
    A coach of infest
    Desolation I crawl;
    For one way;
    To reach a crutch;
    With unnecessary relief, I fall

    Bitter turmoil
    Hardships clasp
    Final destinies show in your eyes
    They shine like foil
    Unforgettable feelings;
    Floating in a wave pool
    But then, if not too soon;
    Sink…

    I sit alone now
    But just hits like a brick wall
    A fist lurches my stomach
    The smell of fear is foul
    Where will this go?
    Will it come to an end?
    To see you walk away;
    Or will your care show

    Panic arises
    My heart pounds erratically
    My chest screams in anguish
    A handful of surprises;
    Will you stay?
    Or will you go?
    I can promise you this
    I will never again stray

    My body bleeds
    I fall into my puddle
    Drinking my way out
    The way I feed
    The wreck below;
    Under construction;
    Waiting for me
    For now, my body stays below zero

    My body’s river;
    Frozen under my skin
    Frozen droplets
    Which never stir
    When will this end?
    About the time I come out
    Though hiding isn’t secret
    My life will you defend

    This is the world I live in
    Destroyed and bloody;
    A hole of oblivion;
    And non-stops in;
    This is my life of confusion
    Take it or leave it
    My emotional earthquake;
    Not much fun.

    But here I am
    In front of your eyes
    There you stand
    I take your rough hands.
    I’ve been so cold
    A heart of ice
    For we will both
    Act just as bold.

    You take me
    Even with scars
    The depths of my soul
    I’m afraid you’ll see.
    I’ve cut and bled
    I’ve screamed in vain
    You take me for who I am
    You’ve shared my bed.

    Yet I still feel lonely
    I’m being held back
    From chains on my limbs
    My past is haunting me.
    I’ve been beaten
    I was sexually abused
    My heart has been torn
    Lonely I’ve been.

    (I put this on page seven, I’m sorry. I hope that you enjoy it.)

  22. otto on March 18th, 2008 6:56 am

    Cloaked at the beach

    Going to the beach to get some clay
    Excited to be free
    In my own world though you were all there
    My own place was all there was to me
    Not knowing that you were afraid
    That I was not like all the rest
    You did not understand me well
    I embarrassed you with some of my ways
    I was blissfully unaware that I was not as I thought others saw me
    Yet after years of steady denial the truth comes to me that I was worn away little by little
    as I might watch you so gently patiently persistently sand away an annoying
    blemish on a piece of wood
    The sandpaper is fine,and like drops of water it is still effective.
    My protective cloak persists like iron
    Little do we know
    After years of hidden fears that I cannot be what you want
    I finally see that this is me
    I really am ok
    I strive to understand the disguises that are worn
    never to be torn down

    the hollow words
    fragile, not lasting longer that a bubble blown in a childhood afternoon
    but with me even still
    Not intending to hurt
    You felt it was best for me to learn the ways others can be
    To survive
    Beware
    My childhood fears came out in the dark
    When others were dreaming of my butterflies
    I was being swallowed by the ocean that I loved
    It frightenend me more than I understood
    Unable to share my fears
    Was the dream a trick to help me escape the hurt I never understood
    To release what surely was anger
    Because I was told this is the way it needs to be
    You will do best if you listen to me
    Don’t try that way because it may fail
    What will others say?
    My eyes did not open all at once
    protection is a grand thing
    Still here when I need it

    So on the beach in the safety of the sun I could have things go my way
    And now I see things through my own eyes
    Where i know there is no disguise
    I am safe

  23. otto on March 18th, 2008 7:00 am

    Not sure if this will even be looked at . Never did this before. Open and curious to comments ~
    Thank you for reading

  24. Saul Nadata on May 6th, 2008 7:43 pm

    Elegy for Superman and for the Invincibility Preceding Cancer

    For a while afterwards
    you couldn’t find a superhero
    who didn’t wear that black armband
    with the S on it,
    to show that he loved you,
    that no matter how little clothing
    he needed for his costume,
    without you
    he needed one more piece.

    One time Debbie and I subwayed
    to Times Square in our pajamas
    on a Saturday night, to buy popcorn:
    she chose caramel and chocolate.
    I chose the size. Bag-and-a-half.

    Is it any wonder you split in four?
    When greatness retreats
    the memory keeps
    fragmenting, it just has to,
    until at last the remains
    (The Man of Steel,
    The Man of Tomorrow,
    The Metropolis Kid,
    and The Last Son of Krypton)
    are no longer so terribly
    beautiful; that’s what
    the dirt we pile
    on our dead is for.

    For years, Debbie and I talked
    about learning to do those aerial
    dance moves, the ones that,
    at least in Gap ads, send a girl
    into the air so rightly that there exists
    a moment when you have to believe
    that’s where she came from.
    We never did it, though.

    When you rose again,
    like Jesus or Amy Weinhouse
    or even Hillary Clinton,
    your hair was long and unruly.
    You wore it that way
    for ten years.

    A month before chemo,
    unwilling to wait and see,
    Debbie cut eight inches
    off of hers.

  25. John Hewitt on May 7th, 2008 7:28 am

    That is a powerful poem. Thank you for sharing Saul.

  26. charlax on May 7th, 2008 10:17 am

    CharlaX Epitaph
    http://poetrypoem.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?poemnumber=811274&sitename=charlax&password=&poemoffset=0&displaypoem=t&item=poetry
    CharlaX Epitaph

    Underneathe the weather vain
    Oblivious to the pain
    Marking time inn aeons
    Gathering no more gain
    Holding on to EWE love
    Waiting for the Lord HIS day

  27. Saul Nadata on May 13th, 2008 8:24 pm

    My pleasure, John.

    I was actually working on a 365 day poetry blog project when I stumbled across your site. It’s a nice change of pace to have some additional structure imposed for a month of days. Thanks for putting this project together.

    Saul Nadatas last blog post..Cone

  28. Theresa on November 14th, 2008 3:26 pm

    I’ll Always Remember You

    Do I know you? I think I do.
    Yes, I remember you.
    You’ve change alot, you’re
    not the same, but I still
    know your name.

    That doesnt’ matter anyway,
    I’d like for you to stay.
    Your welcome for a day or
    two or maybe just a while.
    Unless of course you still
    think I’d cramp your style.

    Make yourself at home and
    please excuse the mess.
    Just come on in and have a
    seat, consider yourself a guest.

    I remember, although it’s been
    some time, I think you were
    a good friend of mine.
    So prop your feet, sit back, relax
    and tell me how you’ve been.
    I’m always more than happy to
    listen to a friend.

    But I must apologize, how thoughtless
    could I be? I didn’t think to ask
    you if you remember me.
    But how could you forget?
    I’m sure you must remember.
    I’m the girl you married on that
    cold day in November.

    Otto, I liked your poem a lot..I totally got it…I think anyway….good work in my opinion

  29. Kris on December 20th, 2009 4:05 am

    Very good poems, I thought if I could insert a few of them on my page as examples which is about Poems About Loss
    .-= Kris´s last blog ..How to Find the Best Poems About Loss of Loved One =-.

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