Negative Self Talk for Writers: Musterbation

Musterbation (great word) occurs when you insist that an event or a project turn out exactly the way you want it to, otherwise you will either get very upset or give up. This type of self-talk involves both high standards and a low threshold for overcoming obstacles. With writers this can often rear its head during long projects such as novels or manuals in which there are many possible obstacles. The crux of the problem hits when you decide that you can’t move forward unless a certain criteria is met, even though there are probably other ways to keep making progress.

Here is an example of musterbation:

Poor self talk: I can’t believe the development team hasn’t decided where on the screen to put the new field yet. They have to get that done right away. My documentation depends on it. I can’t do a screenshot unless all the fields are in place and I can’t finish this manual if I don’t get a screenshot. This whole project is going to fall apart if they don’t get that field placed.

Realistic self talk: The development team still hasn’t decided where on the screen to put the new field. I really expected to have that issue settled today. This is an inconvenience, but I can still work on the field definitions because those aren’t going to change. I can also start editing what I do have so that everything is ready to go as soon as I can get a screenshot. I’ll prompt them again so that they understand I need this, but then I’ll get back to work.

Some ways to avoid musterbation

• Don’t pin all of your hopes on a single event
• When you start to panic about a problem, stop and ask yourself how serious the problem actually is.
• Create contingency plans

Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer.

Negative Self Talk for Writers: Perfectionism

Perfectionism occurs when you hold yourself or others up to unreasonably high standards. Most people have heard of perfectionism, but many people don’t understand that perfectionism applies to both what they think of themselves and what they think of others. Expecting other people to live up to high standards that you set for them, often without their knowledge, will almost always end in frustration. For writers the problem often comes when you expect your writing to be perfect, your clients to be perfect, or your editor to be perfect.

Here is an example of perfectionism:

Poor self talk: My editor must be incompetent. Her last email had not one, but two split infinitives. She also ended the letter with, “See ya!” That just doesn’t make any sense. She lives in California. I’ll probably never see her in my life. How can she call herself an editor? I don’t think I can work with her.

Realistic self talk: This editor has a casual writing style. I’m used to editors who are formal and precise. I am reading an email though. It isn’t a formal communication. Also, this is Surf N’ Beach magazine. There isn’t a single fully clothed person in it. Perhaps a more casual style is in order. I guess I’ll try this “chilling out” thing that all the kids are talking about these days.

Some ways to avoid perfectionism

• Realize that all people are fallible, including yourself
• Having standards is fine, but be sure that your standards are reasonable
• Ask yourself if the other person knows your standards or would expect to live up to them
• When you or someone else fails to live up to your standards, ask yourself what benefit will come from getting upset about it

Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer

07/30/2008 Writng Jobs and Links

Today’s Writing Job Roll

Freelance Editor — Arlington, VA

Online Movie Writers — Telecommute

Content writer / Researcher for solar energy — Telecommute

Technical Copywriter — Chelsea, NY

Freelance Writers and Editors — Denver, CO

Freelance Development Writer — Telecommute

Freelance Writer — Telecommute

Assistant managing editor — Tacoma, WA

Assistant Editor — Loveland, CO

Proofreader — Seattle, WA

Assistant Proofreader — Madison, WI

Entertainment Writer — New York, NY

Medical Science Writer — Gainesville, FL

Associate Online Editor — Newtown, PA

Today’s Job and Writing Links

When you don’t feel like blogging, is it time to blog? by Tom Johnson: Is blogging a terrible business model?

Why it’s called “Go,” and not “Call” by John August: A nice analysis of the ways that the movie Go would have to change in the age of cellphones and texting.

Negative Self Talk for Writers: Blaming

Blaming occurs when you assign responsibility for your problems or the events in your life to another person rather than accept personal responsibility for your situation. Writers might blame instructors for bad grades, editors for rejections, reviewers for bad reviews, family members for interrupting them, and friends or colleagues for denigrating their work. The list is substantial. I don’t mean to imply that other people don’t do negative things. They do. The problem occurs when you let an action or attitude from someone else be the blame for your results or lack of effort, especially if the offence was minor.

Here is an example of blaming:

Poor self talk: This article was doomed from the beginning. First the editor made me shorten the article from my original query length so I didn’t have enough space. Next my wife decided to watch TV in the living room while I was working and I couldn’t focus. I eventually gave up and went to my office, but then my mother called and wanted to talk about my sister’s new boyfriend, so I had to listen to that for an hour. I had to rush so I took the article to my writer’s group but all they did was tell me ways to change it, which created a whole lot more work and I ended up turning the article in late because of them. By the time I got it back to the editor it was too long and she arbitrarily cut the fifth paragraph, which was my favorite. Now the whole article was ruined. I can’t believe people can be so inconsiderate.

Realistic self talk: There were some problems with the article that I could have improved on. The planned length of the article was an issue for the editor, so I should have looked for ways to narrow the topic. I also let some distractions get the better of me. My writer’s group had some good advice, but I should have determined what changes I could make in time and what I couldn’t. I should also have reviewed the article to make sure that I was the one to trim its length rather than the editor. The article was still acceptable. I just need to think about some of these issues in the future.

Some ways to avoid blaming

• Respect the needs of other people, but set clear boundaries so that you can meet your own needs
• Don’t give up when faced with obstacles
• Set your priorities and accept that other people may have conflicting priorities
• Don’t expect perfection from yourself or others
• Ask yourself what you would have done or expected if you were the other person

Note: The terminology I am using from an excellent textbook called Stress Management for Wellness by Walt Schafer

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The Power of the Madness… Get to know me!

Google recently updated their site rankings (a gauge of a site’s quality and popularity). It was the first update since the end of Blogging Madness and I’m proud to announce that this year’s competitors rose from an average ranking of 3.75 to 4.15. Here is a list of the sites that rose in the rankings. Congratulations to all of them.

Writers Write rose from five to six

Bob Bly Copywriter rose from five to six

Men with Pens rose from one to five

The Renegade Writer rose from four to five

Confident Writing rose from four to five

All Freelance Writing rose from three to four

Book Marketing Bestsellers rose from one to four

Quiet Rebel Writer rose from one to four

C. Hope Clark rose from three to four

Write From Home rose from two to three

Writer’s Notes rose from one to three

The Writing Journey rose from one to three

Words on the Water rose from one to three

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